The Poke Check Diaries

I wrote this list up about my team the Hack HC’s blood enemies the Parkdale Hockey Lads a few years ago. Some of these facts are outdated now, but it’s still worth a revisit. Check it. 13 Reasons To Hate The Parkdale Hockey Lads 1. Blue uniforms remind you of the Smurfs, except more “rape-y.” … Continue reading »

Much has been made about whether new hockey movie Goon is as good as all-time classic Slap Shot. But what those people desperate to face the two off against each other don’t understand is that there’s lots of room on the bench for both of them. When you’re riding the buses and need something to … Continue reading »

One of the best players I’ve ever played with what a fellow named Scott Graham. He was in his 40s at the time and worked in advertising, but in his hockey past he had played pro in Europe. He organized a weekly high-end shinny game that I’d play in, until, one game he had a … Continue reading »

I hate going to rinks and seeing little kids with thousands of dollars of pristine high level goal gear on their bodies. All that tells me is that they’ve got rich sucker parents who’re more than likely compensating for their child’s athletic deficiencies by flashing them up in top gear. This fine photo, however, is … Continue reading »

I’m a goalie, so I have all the exact same feelings of territorialism and indignant rage over insults both real and perceived that any of my masked brothers experience when they’re out there on the ice. But this whole Ryan Miller vs. Milan Lucic thing that just happened? Miller, well, there’s no more discreet way … Continue reading »

Last Saturday I played one of my easiest/toughest games in a very long time. A day earlier I started experiencing paralyzing back pain. It was awful. I couldn’t bend down, couldn’t walk, couldn’t lift anything… heck, I couldn’t even put my socks on. So it was abundantly clear I was still playing hockey the next … Continue reading »

The CBC has declared something called Hockey Sweater Day In Canada today where you take a photo in your favourite team’s hockey sweater and send it in to them. That’s all well and good and fun, but there’s been a horrible betrayal in all of this — Neil Young has declared he’s a Winnipeg Jets … Continue reading »

And so it was spoken, in the book of Goaltending, by the apostle Jacques Plante, on page 104, about quitting: “Playing goal when a team is leading is easy, but when it falls behind, the pressure mounts to the point where some goalies can’t stand it and stop trying. Without realizing why, they get mad … Continue reading »

My 9980s I wear a set of Sher-Wood 9980 goal pads in red, black and white very similar to what Patrick Lalime wore as an Ottawa Senator in the early 2000s. The pads themselves are solidly crafted made-in-Canada products, but what I really love about them is the crazy v-lines in the design. It’s a … Continue reading »

Last night the power went out at Pickering’s Art Thompson Arena right as I was about to step on the ice to play my regular Monday summer hockey game in the Generals Men’s Hockey League. There were crazy thunderstorms in the area and apparently a nearby transformer got hit to cause the power outage. This … Continue reading »

The first international ice hockey championship the United States won after the Miracle On Ice came in 1987 when a U-17 team featuring future pros like Jeremy Roenick, Mike Modano and Tony Amonte served notice that America was about to become a hockey power. The goalie that anchored that team was Buffalo native Ken Baker. … Continue reading »

Your slapshot does not scare me. Trust me, it doesn’t. The mask I’m wearing is made of kevlar. That’s the stuff they use in bulletproof vests. And having seen you play, if anyone on your team ever calls you “bullet” they’re being ironic. Oh, you just bought yourself a new $250 Bauer Supreme One 95. … Continue reading »

Never buy these. They’re to protecting your knees while playing hockey what the Maginot Line was to protecting France — theoretically perfect protection, but practically useless in the real world. I bought Bauer Supreme goaltending kneepads about three years ago when I switched my goal pants. With my previous pants I just tied the now-illegal … Continue reading »

Nardwuar The Human Serviette might be one of the best journalists in Canada. I’ve seen it first-hand because in my other life in the music universe I’ve worked with him for over a decade. At any rate, recently he got to interview the man himself, Don Cherry, and there may or may not be a … Continue reading »

For a guy who’s been an Olympian, an NHL all-star, and a Vezina and Jennings trophy winner, it only seems just now, in the 2010-11 Stanley Cup finals that Boston Bruins goalie Tim Thomas is truly getting recognized for his talents. There are lots of reasons to like Thomas: *At 37 years old he’s a … Continue reading »

I’ve had many great goaltending adventures, but few of them were like when I entered the anything-goes “Goalie Derby” at the 2005 Hockey Summit Of The Arts. Luckily, my friend Joseph McGinty was also there with a video camera and put together this excellent piece about it:

Why do people become goalies? It’s an age old question that philosophical followers of hockey love to ponder. In my case the reason why I became a goalie was because my eight-year-old self was a pretty horrible skater. And if I was in net I wouldn’t have to skate, right? Young me’s arrival between the … Continue reading »